Things to Tell Your Soul Mate. More Often

There’s no doubt about it, the beginnings of relationships are exciting. Every date uncovers a new discovery about the other person as emotions ricochet between uncertainty and adoration. For weeks, maybe even months, we simply can’t get enough of our S.O. As time goes on, however, that initial rush fades, and new love becomes a little more familiar. We instinctively know how to show our partners we care, but that gets lost as we become more comfortable in our relationship. Soon, all of that extra effort and lip service we employed at the beginning goes to the wayside as routine replaces butterflies. We assume our partner knows how we feel because we’ve said it all before… but that doesn’t mean they don’t need to hear it again.

Healthy communication is one of the biggest obstacles couples face when it comes to building a solid, happy relationship. But healthy communication isn’t just about speaking up when you feel something’s amiss (#trustyourgut), it also means speaking up to let your partner know when or what they’re doing well. The old saying that we teach people how to treat us is true, as we model respect and appreciation for our partner, we also teach them how to #lovebetter.

Mark Twain once said, “I can live a whole month on one compliment.” Just think what would happen if the next time you felt awed by your S.O. you spoke up and said so. Now imagine what would happen if you made a habit of it.

Sharing these heartfelt truths will not only make your partner feel amazing, it will take your relationship to the next level. Below are 20 things we all need to tell our S.O.’s more often.

1. “You’re My Best Friend”

Best friends really are the best. They share our laughter and inside jokes, and they’re the first person we turn to when we need advice and support. When we tell our partner they’re our BFF, what we really mean is we trust them with our hearts, our secrets, our insecurities, and our dreams. This is a huge compliment, and in hearing it, our S.O. will likely feel humbled and flattered to know that we see their true worth.

 2.“I Support You”

Even the most self-assured among us need a vote of confidence from time to time. Whether our S.O. is nervous about a job interview or dealing with a difficult family situation, letting them know we’re in their corner could give them that extra ounce of confidence they’ve been looking for. We all need someone that lifts us up and reminds us that we have an unshakeable teammate when things get rough.

3. “I Love Having You Around”

Whether we’re dressed to the nines or wearing the same pajama pants we’ve rocked for the umpteenth day in a row, we all long to be seen and desired for the person we are inside. So it should come as no surprise our S.O. wants that too. By pausing to tell them how much we enjoy sharing both the important and small moments in our lives, we help them feel seen and appreciated. These light-hearted conversations work wonders in bringing people closer.

 4. “I Believe in You”

We all go through periods of self-doubt. Sometimes we let ourselves down because we didn’t make the grade or someone said something hurtful. When we feel low, a kind word from our partner can feel like a turbo-boost. If you see your S.O. going through a rough patch, remind them how incredible they are and that you’re rooting for them every step of the way.

5. “I Trust You”

In a healthy relationship, we’re free to be our truest selves without fear or repercussion. Trust is a crucial part of any meaningful relationship, and expressing those feelings instills confidence in our loved one. Because what we’re really saying is we believe they’re capable of making good choices and we don’t second-guess their judgment. Want to make your S.O. feel great? Tell them you trust them and watch your connection deepen.

6. “What I Love About You is…”

Compliments are great, and hearing “I love you” is especially powerful. But getting specific about “why” we love someone can completely alter the dynamic of a relationship for the better. Imagine knowing what other people admire about you; that’s what you’re doing for your S.O. when you share how you love the way their nose wrinkles when they laugh or how they listen better than anyone else. Not only that, we demonstrate we value them enough to pay attention to the little things. This builds self-esteem and mutual feelings of appreciation. It’s a win-win.

7. “Thank You”

Let’s be real– first dates garner our best behavior. We sit up straight, we listen, we hold doors for each other, and then… we get comfortable. And that’s perfectly okay. Why? Because in serious relationships, we let our guard down and show our true colors. So while we may not practice perfect manners all the time, maintaining a string of “please” and “thank you” on a regular basis shows your S.O. you respect them as a person and don’t take them for granted.

 8. “I Appreciate You”

Think of the last time a friend told you how much they appreciated a favor you did for them or the last time your boss congratulated you on a job well done. Didn’t that feel fantastic? Hearing that another person appreciates us is extremely validating- especially if it’s genuine and expressed at the moment it’s felt. Next time you see your S.O. take out the garbage or cook dinner, let them you appreciate what they’re doing. If you practice this on a regular basis, you’ll likely notice that appreciation fosters a happier relationship over time.

9. “It’s Going to Be Okay”

Trials and disappointments are never easy, yet even the smallest reassurance from someone we love can make everything feel manageable again. When things get hectic, hearing “It’s going to be okay” from someone you care about can be the best thing in the world. True, we don’t always have concrete solutions to offer when our partner is down, but we can remind them of a universal truth: that in time, this too will pass and things will be okay again- and until then, we’ve got their back.

10. “I’d Rather Be With You”

As much as we adore our partner, time apart is healthy. It gives us a chance to reset, focus on our goals, and to nurture other relationships in our lives. Still, when our S.O. travels or we put in long hours at work, it can mean the world to hear their voice on the other line saying they wish we were there. Cue the butterflies! And when we tell our partners this, we show that we recognize the wonderful ways their presence improves our lives and wouldn’t have it any other way.